Oh my days...Robot Monster film review (1953, Dir: Phil Tucker)

Now if you knew me, you'd definitely know that Im not keen on films to do with robots. There is no reasoning, there is no irrational fear or particular hatred, I just find them boring. I will always admit however that there are exceptions.

This is not one of them.

Thus your probably wondering why I bothered to watch a film so openly named: "Robot Monster". Well....

a) It has the word "monster" accompanying it in the title.
b) It's made in the 50's- high five for golden age cinema
c) I once read a review for it that started with a sentence something like:
"There were about 30 seconds of this film that didn't make me want to destroy
something...the other 90 or so minutes did"

Now if that doesn't explain it for you, you simply do not understand. It seems I just like to infuriate myself by watching every bad horror movie there is. Quite a lot of the time, I enjoy them...and this results in lost friendships with the people I make watch them with me.

"Robot Monster" takes the word bad to another level (a level where the word bad means fatalistic). The only way I can describe the special effects is if I give you an example. The "monster" looks like a guy dressed in a gorilla suit made of plasticine and the bits of hair you find in the sink, a diving helmet, and a face that strongly reminds me of corned beef. His name is "RO-MAN". Yes. Yes it is.
It was also originally screened in 3D. I did ponder on whether or not this made it cooler, but then I remembered that meant you would have had to focus on it even more.

During the opening credits it seems your supposed to realize that he has destroyed nearly every human being, apart from five. These five people might as well be dead, be it for their ghastly and frankly quite soul destroying acting. The plot is equally dire, and made me want to scream really loudly just so I could check I was still alive...I did incidentally, mainly because it drowned out the dialogue. The entire remainder of the film sees RO-MAN pitifully hoarding these five ghastly people into a back garden surrounded by bits of chicken wire. I suppose there is reasoning to why it took so long, seeing as his terrifying choice of space like destroying device- is what I later read to actually be a tape recorder strapped to a bubble machine....terrifying stuff. It made me sick a little in my mouth.

Featured on Mystery Science Theatre 3000, it has collected several awards: One of the ten worst movies ever, One of the worst films of all time, A Golden Turkey, Most ridiculous monster in screen history, and Almost worst director.

However I haven't even disclosed the most shocking bit of trivia. The film's score was composed by Elmer Bernstein himself- the man who gave you the great music of The Man with the Golden Arm, The Great Escape, The Magnificent Seven, Animal House, and Ghostbusters.
Oh my....what happened there?