Hotel-Review of the month- 5* Hotel Verta.


On the banks of the Thames, in centrally located Battersea, lies the impressive and grand Hotel Verta by Rhombus. Overlooking the vertical gateway (The capital's heli-port), it exudes style and quality from the valet parking made available as soon as you arrive. Although pricey for their exclusive car-park (£25), it is competitive to the city's parking prices.
Our welcome at reception was wonderful and staff nothing but courteous. Conscious and aware that most guests are here to relax or enjoy some local culture, they upgrade when possible, and consistently check if there is anything that can be done to make your stay more homely- from an iron in your room to a fruit basket and chocolate truffles awaiting those who are here for a special occasion.


Our executive room, when presented to us by the reception supervisor who kindly escorted us all the way to the door (friendly and chatty he was too!), was immaculate and wonderfully presented with many amenities. Robes were in the wardrobe with complimentary slippers, a Nespresso machine ready and waiting with it's much needed caffeine good-ness. The classic and elegant decor with sporadic ornaments emphasized the 5* element of the hotel, alongside the lovely Molton Brown Toiletries available in the bathroom.

Ever in a rush, as myself and Mr Biscuit often are, we asked for hasty directions to the nearest tube-station, only to find that there is a shuttle provided to guests to the centrally located Sloane-Square every hour or so until 8pm. Whilst there is no return-service, this is an excellent offer, although could be slightly more consistent.

Leaving early to catch a show and not being very hungry at that time, we decline dinner in the beautifully decorated Patrisey restaurant, with its open plan kitchen and 'wall of wine-fridge-art', only to be absolutely-starving as we return after 10.30pm. This leaves us with a room service option we hastily take-up.


Now, although I appreciate chef's do themselves not appreciate being up all night ahering to the whimsical requests of eccentric hotel-guests- there really should be an adequate selection to choose from on the room service menu. It seemed here there was quite a nice range....just not after 10.30pm....
So, after choosing between a few sandwiches, a curry, or some tomato pasta, we settled on a chicken and tarragon bloomer, and their version of something like a Tikka masala. At between £10-15 for each dish, we expected the sandwich at least to be freshly made or quite nice, what we didn't expect was a stale dry bread pile with hardly any filling next to a few kettle crisps. The curry was bland, with a ready-meal texture I was told, and very small in it's serving bowl. To top all that, the tray charge to deliver to your room is another tenner added onto your bill.
So yes....it seems that guests are strongly advised to check out the restaurant famous for their Lobster Thermidor, and to avoid room-service.

After a rather excessive lie-in, we skipped breakfast, deciding instead to leisurely sip the complimentary tea and cute biscuit parcels we found in the room when we arrived back the previous evening (bed all turned-down for the night also) along with some fresh pineapple we found hiding in the fruit basket. This way we could slowly pack our suitcase relaxed in our robes, and potter down to the spa for a mid-morning swim.


Now, when time is of the essence, spa treatments are not on the cards as we had to hurry back, but just to note, the variety offered here at Hotel Verta is plentiful and varied. We instead decided to splash about in their hydrotherapy pool (no full sized pool, but good enough to float about in), and recline with steam rooms, saunas, and rainforest like showers.
This very clean, beautifully presented spa level is the perfect accompaniment to the hotel, and everything provided it to an exceptional standard.

All in all, a wonderful calming experience in a very hectic city. Expect service that is second to none, and some truly lovely views from your room across the river if you are lucky enough to get a room facing that way.

Hotel Verta by Rhombus also is fully equipped with conference and business facilities and is open for consultation should you choose to hold your wedding or event there.